Things Done Changed

In what has to be one of the most surprising stories of the young baseball season, the Mets have gone a whole week without losing, and not because they've had a week of rain delays. Let's take a trip in the wayback machine and check out what was going on the last time the Mets lost.

It was a simpler time, April 22nd 2010. Kick-Ass was a day away from ending its short-lived reign atop the box office. Mexicans in Arizona were free to rape and pillage to their hearts' content and the government was powerless to stop them. The US Senate wasn't on the brink of WAR. Gil Meche's ERA was 11.57 and Kris Benson was healthy. The San Jose Sharks were still deciding on whether or not to go through with another embarrassing playoff exit. Your esteemed host had no idea Hole was still around. Dirk Nowitzki was a happy Maverick. The Mets were in last place and not very good.

For an even simpler time, we look back to the halcyon days of May 2009, the last time the Mets put together seven straight wins. Michael Jackson and Ed McMahon were still alive, free from the clutches of the Summer of Death. The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 8,574 um...points? Quadrants? Whatever. The country was in the middle of one of those sepia-toned depressions but wasn't yet in thrall to morons in tri-corner hats. God was punishing the Gulf Coast with soul crushing poverty, but that was nothing new. The President's approval rating was 65 percent on the strength of his promises to give everyone in America in free handjobs and health care. John McCain was an unhappy maverick. The Mets were in first place but not very good.

And now? Arizona is crime and meth free and patriotic Arizonians are lining up for landscaping and fruit picking jobs. Totally liberal and probably queer Charlie Crist has been chased out of the Republican Party by one of the good ones. The Dow closed today at 11,008 tribbles, no thanks to that meddling Kenyan, whose approval rating has plummeted to 49 percent. The President delivered on health care but the handjobs thing has caused enormous traffic jams trying to get to Washington, DC. Liberal claptrap How To Train Your Dragon burned its way back to the top of the box office. God punished the Gulf Coast with a massive oil spill because He hates either Bobby Jindal or poor people, probably both. Kris Benson is injured and Gil Meche's ERA dropped to 10.13 after a 6 inning, 5 run performance against the Red Sox. The San Jose Sharks are up 1-0 against the Red Wings in the second round. Dirk Nowitzki is going to end up on, oh let's just say the Grizzlies, and John McCain is unhappy but not a maverick and don't you ever say he was one.

And the Mets? They're in first place and still not very good. The more things change...