Sunday, January 17, 2010

All Of This Has Happened Before, All Of This Has Happened Again

Now only hours away, I leave the blogosphere with three things to think about heading into this afternoon's game. None of them are anything like "The Jets will have to use the I formation to counteract the Chargers defense" or anything remotely resembling actual strategy. Just more things I think that point to a Jets win.

1. The Jets believe that Chargers are soft. Echoing comments made around Food Jerk by my co-workers, the Jets are mocking the Chargers for being soft and frolicking around in the sun, while they faced the unconscionably cold New York winter, with its howling winds and snow. Hell, Damien Woody promised he would personally break the knees of each and every D-lineman the Chargers run out there.

2. The sins of the father are not visited on the son. This is not necessarily true or false, it only becomes so when you want it to be. So in this case, Ush can take his "Schottenheimer Syndrome" and sink it in the San Francisco Bay. As this Times profile incontrovertibly proves, Brian Schottenheimer is some kind of child genuis who has been designing football plays in the sand since the age of five. I don't even know if Norv Turner had a childhood. Probably didn't.

3. Mark Sanchez and I are similar in more ways than you would think, especially if you first thought we were similar in zero ways. And yet, according to this poorly sourced tidbit on his Wikipedia page, Sanchez once broke a window at a frat party. Now, some of you may not know this about me, but I once kicked a hole in the wall at a frat party. True story. Put my foot right through it. Something tells me Sanchez didn't run from the house at nearly the speed I did after performing his pointless yet awesome bit of destruction, but in my defense, I'm not, nor was I then a 6'2", 225 pound human.


Apartment 618 said...

Something also tells me that that Sanchez did not have a friend dressed up as him who was stealing the fratboys' bong while he was busting the place up, but maybe you have TWO things in common.

And congrats on the win.

And sorry Ush.

Pulp said...

Wait, were you dressed up as me that Halloween? I don't even remember. Although I do suddenly remember you stealing cigarettes from that girl's purse at the first, terrible party.

What a bunch of monsters we were. Are.

Ush said...

The best part of that night was while running away from the angry frat boys, pulp looked at me, and said "WHY ARE WE RUNNING?"

Fuck sports. Every god damn year.