Thursday, November 6, 2008

Because That's Just The Kind of Guy I Am

I guess in the wake of Barack Obama's victory, I should be gracious in victory and not a complete smirking dickhead. But well...I mean Jesus, just look at this fantastic comment pulled from the typically entertaining PUMA PAC blog:

Never mind the fact that a real Democrat wouldn't call the party the "Democrat Party", a known, if stupid slur used by Republicans (or would that be Republics? No, guess not). Never mind that fact that the credit crisis was built on a mountain of absurd debt speculation and free money given to fucking idiots, never mind that "the U.N." does not go to war with people, it merely gives blessings to wars, no, I think what's important to see in this comment is the Bible prophecy.

Now, any asshole can say something happening now is in the Bible, and any asshole can claim Barack Obama is the Antichrist (or start a Facebook group devoted to the question that your author may or may not belong to). It takes a special kind of moron to posit that Obama's name has 18 letters and that 6+6+6=666 (as opposed to, you know, 18). Still a little elementary name math should explain why this is dumber than originally thought possible:

Barack Hussein Obama
6 + 7 + 5

Yep, only one part of his name contains the magic six letters, as opposed to oh, I don't know, RONALD WILSON REAGAN. Ah, but Karen was also making a big deal out of Barack's full name, which anyone who still believes Barack Hussein Obama, Sr. is his father and not Malcolm X, would notice makes Obama's full name:

Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.
6 + 7 + 5 + 2

Twenty letter names take you totally out of the running for Antichrist, if I know my Bible prophecy. And I'm on top of that shit, rest assured. Anyway Karen, thanks for playing The Internet, and play again soon. Who am I kidding, you're probably playing as we speak you little scamp.

More election reaction when I goddamn well feel like it.

1 comment:

tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

Hahahahahaha!

Do you think Karen can walk and chew gum at the same time? I highly doubt it.

Where do these people come from? Oh, nevermind, they crawl out from under rocks.

You know what Ron White says, "You cain't fix STUPID."

Rob