Monday, August 25, 2008

Dem Convention Day One

Coming to you live from Denver, Colorado Bushwick, Brooklyn (get real folks), it's my catharsis from an agonizing day of immersing myself in the hell that is high gear electoral politics. First things first, how about the awesome new McCain ad?

Serious question: does John McCain have something against charisma? I'd love to spend my time pointing out the many ways this Debra Bartoshevich is a traitor to both her gender and her party, but I'm too mesmerized by the idea that those were the best takes whoever directed this ad got. Come on, the acting like she's thinking when talking about judgment? They may as well have just had her pose as the Thinking Man.

Which leads to me to what I was doing all day before the Met game started: perusing a few rabidly pro-Hillary sites committed to proving to us that Barack Obama stole the election from their candidate. Sure, I'm a proud member of the "Is Barack Obama the Antichrist?" Facebook group, but even I have trouble understanding the attitudes of the P.U.M.As.

Nevermind all that though, it's nothing but a ridiculous distraction from the main event, the opening of the GREATEST CONVENTION EVAR or something of that sort. It was kinda boring, but it was also the first day f four of this bullshit. I wish I could tell you more about the Kennedy speech, but it came at the same time as Mike Pelfrey was completing the first back-t0-back complete games by a Met pitcher in 13 years, and to be fair, Teddy was kind of before my time. Good for him though, making it up there.

I dug Michelle Obama's speech though. She sounded genuinely choked up for a lot of it, loudly and proudly said both, "I love America" and "God bless America," and did about all she could to prove to whitey that while she may not like mayo on everything, she won't be charging into their bedrooms screaming "Allahu Akbar" either. Bringing out the children to talk to Daddy over satellite was both incredibly hokey and awesomely effective, especially since the seven-year-old one kept screaming into the microphone like the precocious little scamp she is. If only Howard Cossell had been around to call her a cute little monkey, we'd have some real controversy to talk about tomorrow morning instead of more Camp Clinton v. Camp Obama sleepaway shenanigans.

The cable networks didn't exactly distinguish themselves with what I would call great coverage. After the sensory assault that's been the last year and a half, I honestly can't believe all the cable talking heads wanted more aggression

On CNN, their ticker ran the same 20 facts over and over again, cutting off a good eighth of the screen. Wolf Blitzer spoke over the beginning of Jesse Jackson, Jr.'s speech with his unnatural baritone and they didn't fullscreen the Kennedy tribute video for a few minutes of its broadcast. Blitzer also relentlessly hyped the idea that Kennedy might not even make an appearance, much less give a speech, but the bits I caught Kennedy looked as strong as a drunken, Irish bull. Maybe Wolf wanted to create his own Willis Reed moment, I don't know.

Slammer doesn't believe me, but Fox actually showed Michelle Obama in black and white and played scary monster music after going over her "For the first time in my life..." blah blah blah comment. Also, during the Jesse Jackson, Jr. speech, Bill O'Reilly decided to air one of those interminable segments he does about someone being mean to him. Him, Bill O'Reilly! Who could do such a thing??? Sniggering jackass Bill Kristol pooh-poohed Michelle Obama's speech because she didn't point out she went to Harvard and some blond white lady suggested that the speech was too liberal because Mrs. Obama chose to laud those who march and do public service more than she mentioned the troops.

Tomorrow I'll be out doing things, like seeing Rushmore with all the hipsters at McCarren Park, so I'll probably miss Hillary Clinton's historical history making speech about being a historical, history steeped candidate making electoral history, not like the other guy, Whatshisname.

1 comment:

tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

Hey Pulp,

I don't watch television so, thankfully, I get to miss a lot of what you describe. However, I do listen to some of those cable news stations on XM radio, so I get to hear some of that BS.

As a foreign national I can only observe the US presidential race from outside. Ordinarily I wouldn't even pay attention except now I'm married to a US citizen who is more than a little interested in the goings-on in her homeland and I like to be able to discuss these issues with her.

That McCain ad (and some of the other related ones) is almost laughable (although it did make Annie grit her teeth and shake her head when I played it for her) were it not so scary.

Have fun in McCarren Park. Stay out of trouble, eh?