When An International Media Giant Faces Off Against A Bunch Of Self-Righteous Dickheads, We All Lose

Well, I guess everyone but the self-righteous dickheads and their massive circle jerk. I may be late on the OMFG XMAS APE GOT FIRED story, but if anything, that allows me to hate it even more. If you read all the breathless blogging coverage (go here for a roundup), you would think Ape was fired merely for posting a drunk picture of himself and mentioning he worked for the Washington Post. Of course, you would have to be a fucking idiot to believe that, and judging by the plethora of posts stating that these are the facts, the internet is (of course) full of fucking morons. Let's check with the source of all this controversy, hm?

Nevermind the part where Ape mentions being "fucking hammered", what about the first paragraph?

Since we’re getting paid for our dick joke slingery, I thought I’d join the Maj and Ufford in coming out from the shelter of complete anonymity. So, yeah, it kind of sucks out here. Anyway, I’m this guy and I work for this dying medium. I excel at writing about racist shoes and lost dogs. Isn’t that special?

Now, let's review. He called his place of employment a dying medium and proceeded to either trash his own articles or trash the fact that they were assigned to him. You can talk all the shit about your job and carry a "fuck you" attitude around as much as you like, but whenever you do it, you're taking a risk that you'll lose that job you hate so much. I know because it happened to me at my first real job.

Not only that, but whether or not you think Kissing Suzy Kolber is always totally the funniest thing evar or merely alright, it consistently pushes the line of good taste, and more often than not, seems to coast on racial stereotypes and cheerleader pictures. There's smarter football analysis than I could provide in there too, but the Washington Post has no requirement to keep someone employed who authors this dreck on a regular basis.

And yet, in the eyes of the Great Sportsblogging Hivemind, not only is Ape some kind of victim of old tightwads and their buzzkilling ways, but soon the Post will regret this awful mistake. No, seriously. Still don't believe me? Witness the awful cavalcade of comments on a Sports Bog post completely unrelated to football, blogging, or employment standards. I'm not reprinting the KSK monkeys' words here because I feel like doing that will make this blog even dumber than it already is.

Sorry, but I just can't bother to drum up much sympathy for someone who appeared to be trying to get fired in the first place. What really concerns me about this is that the blogosphere apparently can't or won't understand why a newspaper would take offense at this situation. Someone please pull my generation's head out of its collective ass before we start actually running the world. The last thing I need is for 30 years from now to find out the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court moonlights as a Tucker Max-wannabe.