Friday, September 14, 2007

Hey Sports Guy

WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU NEED MORE PEOPLES

I don't read the Sports Guy anymore, but I did wonder how he would react to the Jet/Pat spy game kerfluffle. Fortunately, there are people out there who do this for me. So a hearty thank you to David Roth over at Can't Stop the Bleeding for finding the absolute worst, most emo bitch section in the whole wretched column:

That reminds me, everyone’s talking about the other teams and implying they were the victims. What about Pats fans? How did we deserve this? Our favorite team cheated, we lost a No. 1 pick, our coach pulled the football version of the Watergate break-in, our entire mini-dynasty has been tainted according to the outside world. … Seriously, what did we ever do other than support a perpetually crappy franchise with a bad stadium for years and years and years? Do you think we wanted any of this to happen? All week, I almost felt like I did something wrong just because I rooted for these guys. Well, no more. Call them cheaters, call them villains, call them the evil empire, but it’s still my team.

Yes, let's feel bad for the fans of a team who have this year been caught in an HGH bust and a signal stealing operation. A team that won 3 Super Bowls in 5 years and got more media handjobs than post-9/11 George Bush. Let's feel bad for the fans that wanted to always remind us of the superior character of a coach who stabbed his former employer in the back and then the face for good measure.

His argument is also specious because it still tries to elevate the Patriots and Patriot fandom over normal fandom. Plenty of non-Boston teams have gone through awful stretches and found success late in their team life. The Braves, for instance. The New York Rangers had 54 years of heartbreak, even if the team was sometimes successful. The Royals haven't been good since 1895. It feel like that anyway. And even the hated Yankees had a World Series from 1978 to 1996.

Maybe we should also feel bad for the Board of Directors of Wal-Mart. They only manufacture their goods in cheap slave labor conditions because they want to help the average American, not because they want to be richer than God. Let's also feel bad for Jerry Falwell. He's doing the best he can to point out America's moral wrongs and help bring Jesus back, not acting as a lunatic who feels God talks to him and tells him who in America caused 9/11. While we're at it, let's feel bad for Dick Cheney. We just don't understand the man has a secrecy/invasion/torture fetish.

Piss off Sports Guy, and take your whiny little plea for fan sympathy with you.

1 comment:

Epidimos said...

my favorite part of that article was when he said the following, which I believe, if I am following his logic correctly, forbids him to ever make another crack at any ballplayer's morality for all time:

"So save me the moral indignation about CameraGate. The whole world is screwed up. We watch football every week because the games are entertaining, because it's something to do, because it gives us something to discuss with our friends, co-workers and family members. If you're searching for a football-related moral cause with some meat, watch this month's feature about Earl Campbell on "Costas Now.""