Friday, August 24, 2007

So Many Things, So Many Things

There was a lot of shit in the news that we missed lately. And when news falls through the cracks, we have Lewis Black to find it, in a segment we like to call Back in Black.





Turns out we don't have Lewis Black. So I guess I'll go over the news that I missed because I was lazy. Jerks.

Jose Padilla
And America shrugs a great shrug. Outside of some outraged liberals (myself included) did anyone actually give a shit about this case? The Times described it as a "victory" for the Bush Administration, but considering this was a guy they said was going to detonate a dirty bomb, I can't see how anyone would be impressed with the subsequent crumbling of the case. While he spent time locked up in a brig and then a regular prison his case went from dirty bomber to apartment bomber to random ass Al-Qaeda wannabe. Meanwhile, the government, not willing to lose to the Supreme Court and have Padilla go free, stopped torturing him in the military brig and moved him to normal prison and gave him a trial. He was gonna lose anyway, but at least he got one, I guess.

This David Banner Video
Not that I begrudge Banner for being frustrated with Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, but should anyone really be standing up for Michael Vick? Perspective is necessary certainly, because the number of people who loudly object to the torture of actual human beings versus the outrage over Vick offing some dogs just doesn't match up.

Shepard Smith
Absolutely the worst journalist I have ever seen. I turned on Fox News during work to get some laughs while I labeled postcards. First of all, during "Studio B" there's this incredibly distracting purple and yellow "B" done up in some kind of EXTREME GRAPHICS. It looks like something out of the Disney Channel. As for Smith's actual presentation of the news, it was impossible not to laugh. The man just isn't convincing as Very Serious Person and his attempts to get into advocacy journalism and stir up some outrage came off as awkward as a flipper baby playing baseball. Hence his new name Flipper Baby. Though this also means I'll have to watch more Shepard Smith if I want to use the tag. The things I do for you people.

Mike Vick
OK, so he's guilty. Can we not ask every black athlete and entertainer alive what they think of it? Ask football players sure, that makes sense. But why do we need to hear from Jamie Foxx or Stephon Marbury? Because they're black and will probably say something in Vick's defense, thus keeping the cycle of outrage alive. Freakin wonderful.

Ted Nugent
As much as one can read his comments about telling Barack Obama to "suck on my machine gun" as a threat on the life of a presidential candidate, I hardly see it as such. It's just more obvious gun-as-a-phallic-symbol talk from a gun nut. But if I were Mr. Nugent, I might be a little careful where I put my phallic imagery given the GOP's trouble of late with teh gays. It'd be a shame for that kind of talk to bust off in your face Ted.

1 comment:

Apartment 618 said...

Dude... David Banner sounds so fucking stupid...