Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I Hate the Groovies

I had plans to go to the game last night. Glad they fell through. Watching the Braves beat the Mets is torturous to me, because I hate everything about that god damned team. The southerness, the racist as hell image it promotes, the seemingly never ending supply of prospects, and yes, the winning. I've tried everything: ripping phone books, ignoring them, praying to Sadaharu Oh, and nothing seems to make the Braves finally leave me in peace and allow me to find a new team to hate.

Of course, this doesn't excuse the Mets, who made Buddy Carlyle look like a freakin Cy Young candidate out there. Well, it was more that O'Perez made all the Braves look like Sliver Slugger recipients. When he gave up a two out single to the pitcher, my blood pressure would have shot up had I not been regulating it with special herbs and spices. Instead I was doing my best not to lash out. But since I had to react in some way, I slouched deeper into the couch and wondered if I killed myself would God make me wait to get into Heaven until Jeff Francoeur got there. My roomate said things to me that I non-sensically replied to, but I don't think he caught the hint that I was slowly going crazy.

Last year, I would have thought the Mets still had a chance even down 6-0. And when Gary Cohen pointed out that if the Mets scored three in the sixth if would be perfect symmetry with the Braves scoring one then two then three runs in the first three innings, I would have thought, yeah, it's gonna happen. Not this year. I've seen people say the Mets aren't playing with urgency and grit and other such bullshit. That ain't it babe. The Mets aren't playing with talent. Remember Paul LoDuca's .428 slugging percentage last year? His 39 doubles? Yeah, well hold onto those memories, because you won't see that again from Paulie. Remember when we had a competent rightfielder and religious icon in Xavier Nady? Well Shawn Green sucks and so do you. Left field has been a sort of black hole, again.

As I've said before, this team could win a World Series. But I don't think it's fair to the players, the management or we the fans to think that they will.

1 comment:

Slammnardo said...

Bring us the patchouli beam or suffer the groovy consequences.