Thursday, August 23, 2007

Andy Rooney Chooses Sides In The Race War

Hint: it ain't with the day laborers. Via CTSB comes Rooney's heartwarming tale of a senile old man dealing with a sport he doesn't appear to enjoy.

My disinterest in baseball as a kid has lasted all my life. I'm still not interested in the game. I don't watch it on television or follow it in the newspaper. I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, but today's baseball stars are all guys named Rodriguez to me.

In the words of the esteemed philosopher Jay Sherman, "Hachi machi!" Sure you can go and read the rest of the column, which is rambling and poorly thought out. But I think the most important thing to note in this situation is that the paper Rooney submitted this column to is located in Connecticut. Which proves two of my most sacred maxims true. One, Connecticut is a cesspool of racism and ignorance. Two, white people ain't worth shit.

Bonus fun!
Use the Babel Fish link on the bottom of the story to translate Rooney's drivel into Spanish.

Sé todos sobre el bebé Ruth y Lou Gehrig, pero las estrellas de hoy del béisbol son todos los individuos nombrados Rodriguez a mí.

Este gringo muy loco!

2 comments:

cherie said...

Andy Rooney is still alive? Who knew? But, as to the rambling and not thought out, wasn't that considered his style? Style is in the eye of the beholder. Can't even read the man and not hear his whiny voice in my head, shredding my eardrums and stripping the dura matter from my brain.

Epidimos said...

How did that article start with "I don't like baseball," end with "The worst game ever was when we lost in high school football," and make a pit stop at "They play soccer in Europe" along the way???????

Who is Andy Rooney? He writes shitty non sequitur articles.