Iran's Network Spews
Someone tell me what that means, please. Is it a pun? An incomplete sentence?
The government of Iran is not only dangerously volatile, the nuke-loving regime has developed a twisted sense of humor.
Number of nukes in America: 5,375 active, 9,960 total. Holy shit that is a lot of nuclear weapons.
Number of nukes in Iran: None. That we know of. But I know for damn sure there aren't 10,000 of them.
For the last two days, I've been watching PressTV, Iran's brand-new, state-run foray into 24-hour broadcast news. As if the world needed any more anti-Western propaganda than what's already generated by CNN and the BBC.
How is it that CNN, a network that employs a former AIPAC lobbysit in Wolf Blitzer and rabid immigrant basher Lou Dobbs is seen as liberal? Do I need to call myself something other than liberal to not be associated with these assholes? Or can everyone stop being so lazy and accusing a network owned by an arch-capitalist billionaire and another one with a royal charter from the goddamn Queen of England of being anti-Western? I like the second one.
Since it started beaming itself - in English - to the world via satellite on Monday, PressTV has been the news freak's antidote to reality, streaming a nonstop flow of news abuse, Arab-world victimhood, sports and the weather report in Tehran and New York.
"America Planning a Coup on Saudi Arabia!" warned one of the interchangeable, and humorless, women concealed by a lifeless gray or brown Arabic headscarf.
Fashion critic and media critic. Andrea Peyser is a modern Renaissance woman.
"Israeli Tank Kills Family!" declares a man with a distinct American accent.
Tanks, as we all know, do not kill. They were invented to deliver teddy bears to blind orphans.
Accessing the station on the Internet, I was assaulted by PressTV's far-flung correspondents and purely accidental acquaintance with the truth.
Says the woman who works for the New York Post.
People recognizable on the other side of the pond for conspiracy theories - such as journalist Kevin Cahill, who believes the British government and CIA teamed up to assassinate a Conservative member of Parliament in 1979 - give the broadcast an air of pseudo-authority.
The CIA has never had any assassination plans. Ever.
Also insane: calling Iraq, Iran and North Korea the Axis of Evil. Starting a pre-emptive war with no strategy. Knocking out a country's two biggest rivals and expecting it to not assert itself. Making up a new branch of government. Using pancake mix that isn't Aunt Jemima.
I watched a feature story titled "Iran, Land of Religion," promoting the country as being good to its Christians, Jews and Zoroastrians, as the camera stopped, for a long time, on a picture of yarmulke-wearing, praying Jews. See, we won't kill you!
I saw a show once about a lady who spied on her neighbors and then had sex with them. The camera often stopped for a long time on boobs. Wish I knew where I was going with this.
During the many times I was knocked off the channel - this is one busy network - I read PressTV's Web site. In case you missed the message on the TV channel, the site tells you who the bad guys are.
About the terror plots in Britain, "Is it really the al Qaeda who launched this attack or is it another interested party framing the Muslim nation by pointing the finger of blame at a terrorist group shunned by the Muslims?" read an unsigned report.
Another article blames the United States and Israel for stirring up violence between Fatah and Hamas in Gaza.
"Washington's fingerprints are all over the chaos that has hit Palestinians and the last thing they need now is an envoy called Blair."
You know, to be fair, one of the reasons for this chaos is because the Western countries helping keep the Palestinian Authorities above ground cut off the funding they were providing. They have every right to, but they still did it. Also, why exactly would Israel and the US not help Fatah against Hamas? They're much more corrupt and easy to control.
Wait a minute. That piece came out of The Guardian newspaper - in Britain.
PressTV is in good company.
Whaaaaaaa? I am literally in shock. Andrea Peyser has shocked me. It's like I'm one of those rich snobs from Caddyshack who are flummoxed by Rodney Dangerfield's wacky antics. My mouth is agape and my monocle has fallen into my champagne. That she ended her report this way proves again that Andrea Peyser is just as dangerous with a pen as she is with a double sided katana.