Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Of Hornets and Fists

If you put you fist through a hornets' nest, is it the hornets' fault that you get stung? The answer is yes, of course it's the hornets' fault. You had plans for that hornets' nest and if the hornets can't appreciate it then there's obviously something wrong with them. So, as your hand swells and you start getting stung in the eyes, you bitterly curse the deity that allowed this to happen to you. But you sure as hell don't take your hand out. You lecture the hornets, tell them that a new life awaits them if only they would stop stinging you and flying around. Can't they see you're trying to help them?? Well, no. The hornets have a different way of looking at life, as hard as it is for you to understand. They just want to make their nest and be absolutely terrifying to people with bee allergies. Plus, not for nothing, but you did put your hand through their house without bothering to consult them about it.

So why is it still the hornets' fault for stinging you? Because you, like I, live in America. Don't believe me that this would be the prevailing attitude among your contemporaries? Watch the CNN/YouTube debate and listen to the people who want to be our next President. When it came to discussing the war and how mismanaged it is, there was only one place to lay the blame: on the Iraqi people themselves!

Nothing new of course, the "blame the Iraqis" game has been going on since about the time we gave the Iraqis elections. But now that their government is taking a vacation, it's time to really shame them. "How dare they do this when our troops are out in the hot sun protecting their raghead asses!" is more or less the argument being made everywhere these days. Even the Daily Show got in on calling the Iraqi legislators cowards and whores.

Now, this is a somewhat valid argument. A government on the verge of collapse should probably not be taking a month off to go play golf or ride horses or whatever it is one does to momentarily forget a civil war. But the thing is, the Iraqi government is not our government. We don't own them and we sure as hell don't have any right to demand things from them. But since everyone seems to think that we do own Iraq, it would be nice if they just owned up and admitted that this has turned into imperialism, plain and simple. It's no longer about "the war" it's about determining whether or not we as a country are shameless enough to revive the blatant military imperialism that Europeans got tired of half a century ago. If we are, then we sure as hell can't bring home our soldiers now, because the game has just started. If we aren't, which I think would be right, we leave, but we don't act all pissed at the Iraqis for not doing everything we told them to do.

Let's go back to that hornet's next again real quick. Since your hand is stuck there and you don't seem to be pulling it out, maybe it's best that you wait for the hornets to tire out then you can get yourself to a doctor. But then you see another hornet's nest. Now, you don't know this, but it's the home of the Asian giant hornet. But shit, you don't care. What the fuck are you, some kind of bugologist? Hell no! You kill bugs dead. So you lumber over and put your other hand through that nest, completely oblivious to the fact that not only are these hornets different from the hornets already slowly killing you, but these hornets are much more adept at it. What would this make you? An asshole with two deadly boxing gloves? Just an asshole? No actually. It would mean you're the President.

3 comments:

Apartment 618 said...

Booya.

cherie said...

I have only just started reading your blog. My husband is a great fan of yours though you don't write fast enough for him. Interesting images but very true of Americans to blame those they trample for not being more grateful.

Pulp said...

Well thank you Cherie. I'd like to write more but sometimes my busy schedule of drinking and watching baseball gets in the way. I don't know what excuse my compatriots have, but I'm sure it's similar.