Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Putzes Putzes Everywhere

And not a thought to think.

That is the saying, right?

When you get away from the world for a week, live in a tent and do a lot of drugs, you tell yourself that life is pretty sweet and the world isn't such a bad place. Then you come home and see that thought is so influenced by the drugs that you wanna drop out and start eating them again. But I will soldier on and be uber-meta by critiquing a fellow blogger. And by critiquing, I mean calling names. Horrible names. Just remember, I do it all for you.

When I went on Deadspin this morning, one of the first things I saw was a post alleging that the Mets are set to get the race war going. Now, Will Leitch should be faulted for linking to this trash, but then again, I don't know if he's ever met an unsubstantiated rumor he didn't like. But more at fault should be the schmuck teenager who made it all up. I'm not linking to this drivel because then one of you, our six readers, would go to it and give him more hits and the publicity stunt would be validated. Go look for it on Deadspin if you really want to.

Anyway, this Nazi sympathizer claimed that Julio Franco of all people, is at the forefront of a racial divide in the Met clubhouse, splitting the Latinos against the non-Latinos. Julio Franco, who invented baseball, who loved the game so much and was so humble that he played in Mexico and Japan after he couldn't hack it in America was accused of being a racist and a clubhouse cancer. Julio Franco, who showed his leadership in full view of the TV cameras last year by getting Carlos Beltran to go out for a curtain call, has been accused by some piss drinking teenager of acting exactly the opposite way a leader would act.

This of course of course was all thanks to an "anonymous source", who my anonymous source tells me is actually this kid's PCP dealer. The little rat claimed that he knew this source from his time at Metsblog, but Matt Cerrone smartly slapped his ass down and let the world know that in no way did this kid (and by kid I mean young goat) get himself any sources in his brief time at Metsblog. Following this internet style hit, the young douchebag begged off the attention he was getting, claiming he didn't want to affiliate the story with Metsblog (uh huh) and that this really wasn't a publicity stunt. Of course it wasn't. Neither was Paris Hilton's sex tape. Neither was John Kerry's service in Vietnam. Ooooh, I didn't! Remove the chain, because that's off it!

Normally this wouldn't matter at all, but like I said, this shit got posted on Deadspin, and not just in the Blogodome section. It got its own featured post, which means anyone who reads Deadspin read that and probably believed it. Feeding tits to the wet dreams of every racist in New York who can't stand that the Mets are more Hispanic than white is irresponsible and stupid. So in conclusion kid, you shut the fuck up and you shut the fuck up, that's what the fuck you do.

This post would be called "How to Get Linked on Deadspin Without Really Trying", but there's someone else I need to turn by literary shotgun on and blast to teeny tiny pieces. His name is Wallace Mathews.

Slammer and Bushido are probably familiar with the uninformed rantings of Wally Mathews, but for everyone else, here's the deal. He's absolutely the meanest, bitchiest, most sourpuss baseball writer in New York. He's already on a crusade to run A-Rod out of town (because apparently the Yankees don't benefit from having the best player in baseball on their team), and now he's turning his ire onto Carlos Beltran. There was really only one thing that bothered me about this specific column from Monday's paper, aside from the general feeling that Beltran has never been given a fair shake in this town. Wallace says, and I quote:
For a guy who cashed in one phenomenal week in October as if it were a lottery ticket
blah blah blah and so on. I won't even bother finishing the quote because I hate Wally Mathews so much. But he's not the only one who's said things like that, and that's what's so god damn irritating to see it still being repeated in 2007. I'm not saying that Beltran didn't boost his price by having his amazing playoff run, but the idea that Beltran got his contract because of that is absurd. If Carlos Beltran was merely a mediocre centerfielder with some tools, the Royals would never have traded him for prospects out of a fear of not affording him. The Astros wouldn't have picked him up for a playoff push and they certainly wouldn't have fucking traded their lights out closer to get him.

Seriously people, Carlos Beltran was a phenomenal baseball player coming into his free agent year and everyone knew he was about to get his ass paid. Seriously paid. But then again, I guess it doesn't really help anyone's bullshit argument to say that all Beltran did was cash in on five great seasons and put up MVP-type numbers for the Mets last year. Yes, let's be pricks and ignore reason and logic and stick to the Big Lies. Because that sure as hell is easier than, oh, I don't know, using our brains.

1 comment:

Slammnardo said...

Damn, raw nerve huh?

I'm not saying that this gives anything that guy said credibility here, but Glavine acknowledged the clubhouse was more divided than last year on the Fan yesterday. He went on to say it's more of a side effect of the team going through a rough stretch here (which didn't happen last season), but the fact that he'd even acknowledge it does raise some eyebrows.