Thursday, April 19, 2007

Seriously, Jason Whitlock?

So Jason, I see that you're really getting famous thanks to Don Imus' old stupid mouth. Oprah, Tucker, Rosie. Everyone loves Jason Whitlock. And let me be the first to say: "Fuck you, enjoy it while it lasts."

Seriously, is this the same Jason Whitlock who hacked his way through Page 2 when I used to not read him? The asshole who wrote the NFL Truths columns? Because I remember those. And they were absolutely terrible. Just the same old tricks every other crap sportswriter in America does. Bloviate on your chosen subject screaming to the high heavens that you're telling the truth. In fact, Whitlock left nothing to the imagination, telling you every week that he had a fresh batch of "NFL truths" to ram down our eyeholes.

The same Jason Whitlock that took his show on the road to the AOL Fanhouse, starting up Real Talk? The same bullshit scenario, in which he makes sure to let us know that when Jason Whitlock says it, IT'S REAL TALK. Hey Jason, maybe I'd find more truth in your assertions if you didn't tell me you were telling me how it was every five lines. Oh, that and if you didn't defend the Raiders signing Jeff George. An action that apparently is number one in Big Sexy's 10 Rules. Of course, you also once said:
These athletes make millions of dollars. I just don’t understand why everyone feels pro athletes need groupies in the media. Or can’t at least one person be honest?
So can you be honest with us and explain why your Jeff George crush and your desire to see athletes not sucked up can exist at the same time? Because Jeff George is your friend? Of course, I got it.

The same Jason Whitlock that spent a column declaring that female reporters don't belong in locker rooms? Oh sure, he also said that no reporters should be allowed in the locker room, but it was a cover your ass gesture. And once again, like a true hack, he paints a picture with a broad, sloppy brush. Male reporters can't and shouldn't go in women's locker rooms because we wouldn't be able to control ourselves?

Oh Jason, you slay me! Maybe for your next joke, you can tell us about how your wife wishes you would leave the toilet seat down!

So you're telling me that this hack now gets to become an authoritative voice on black America? And why? Because he's dissing hip hop and Reverend Al? My goodness, will the hackery never end? Hey Jason, not only are you not the first to attack gangsta rap, you aren't even the ten thousandth. In fact, before the Imus flap, the Reverend was protesting the actions of Tony Yayo, after he beat up a 14 year old boy over label beef. He's been in this game a lot longer than you Jason, and while he's made plenty of mistakes, him and Jesse sure as hell aren't terrorists.

And there's also nothing new about your attacks on gangsta rap. Nothing that everyone from Bill Clinton to Bill O'Reilly haven't already done. In fact, you obviously haven't listened to Mos Def, Lupe Fiasco, MF Doom, Talib Kweli, Jay-Z, or Nas to name just six of many rappers who've talked about where their industry is going and what it means.

Man am I angry. I'd better go blow off some steam before I explode on some fool.

2 comments:

Ush said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ush said...

Nice work. Jason Whitlock needs to stop being the hero of the sports blogosphere (although Will Leitch ever so slightly in a teeny tiny way denounced him).