Monday, April 9, 2007

Fuck You Jimmy Kimmel

You know what the title of this video is on the YouTube? "Kimmel Takes on Gawker Stalker". Eat a dick buddy, with linguine and a nice vodka sauce maybe.

This was covered by Deadspin and The Hater, but I'm just as important as them, right? That cowardly little jumping should only be reserved for Karl Rove types, not ridiculous celebrity website editors. You would think Gawker killed Princess Di the way Emily Gould was treated.

But no, instead we find Gawker's real crime: posting a story about Jimmy Kimmel being drunk. But see, he wasn't. Don't you people have any shame?

If the segment was solely about GawkerStalker and it's potential dangers I wouldn't care. But how could Jimmy Kimmel, host of the roast of Pamela Anderson possibly complain about cheap jokes?

No, Jimmy Kimmel was just being a bully and letting off steam from a post over six months old where one person somewhere said he was drunk. Mr. Host of the Man Show is a picture of sobriety.

When Jimmy Kimmel shows up in hell, I'm gonna slap him in the mouth. I hope someone texts about it.


Apartment 618 said...

Oh, where to begin.

-"Citizen Journalism" is a term, dipshit. Don't be so literal.
-Celebrity stalkers probably knew less about Gawker Stalker prior to you throwing the idea out there on national news.
-Ok, so the money comment at the end was a little over the edge. It was a natural response to 6 minutes of planned beatings. You may as well have titled the segment "The Passion of the Emily Gould". Did you make sure to claw off every piece of skin when you finished? On top of that, the argument becomes incongruent when Jimmy Kimmel first says that not all celebrities are rich and then follows up with "rich people deserve privacy, that's a stupid thing to say".
-Beyond that, intelliigent celebrities ARE rich, nimrod. They either got rich AND famous doign something or they parlay their fame into wealth. A few of them lose that wealth, but it's usually because of posh lifestyle debt or prison, hardly they middle class stock tank/Enron scenario.
-Just as a quick bit, fuck CNN for setting up such a cross-eyed, dick swinging room. At least Gawker Stalker doesn't claim to be impartial.
-Here's some truth Jimmy: You're not funny anymore, so now you're just an asshole.

Apartment 618 said...

Oh, and celebrities are public citizens, thereby noentitled to those privacy rights in the public domain. Checkmate, "pundits". Trying suing against that.

punagement said...
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punagement said...
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punagement said...

gawker has every right to do what they do. it's a free country. that is why this gagging of don imus for two weeks is fucking horseshit.

jimmy kimmel cannot be blamed for his inquest (i'd have done the same thing if, say, i woke up one day and discovered i was jimmy kimmel), and this woman should be shot. in fact, she would be shot, if only she weren't so high on the pecking order. "everyone who reads it knows that it isn't checked at all." that's like saying everyone who watches american idol knows it is actually an objective and celebratory scrutinization of talent, does not inherently destroy mass musical culture as we know it, and does not make terrorists hate us more, not one bit. (i never miss an episode.)

Pulp said...

This has nothing to do with Don Imus. His gagging is in response to a stupid, racist comment, and it's hardly the first one he's uttered on the air.

As for your declaration that if you were Jimmy Kimmel you'd do the same thing, I can only say I don't believe you. If I woke up today and I was Jimmy Kimmel, I would explore the finer points of Sarah Silverman and then I'd roll around in a pile of money.

After that I'd host my nationally televised talkshow and enjoy the company of my celebrity friends. I sure as shit wouldn't carry a grudge for almost a year over some story on a hipster aimed celebrity blog whose target audience in fact does know that the content is tongue in cheek.

In conclusion, you're an idiot for saying Emily Gould should be shot and should have acid thrown in your face.

Slammnardo said...

Celebrities can get rid of this website very very easily: just start posting fake sightings. If the site is flooded with fake reports and photoshopped pictures, they would be posting false information, which would make them more vulnerable in a lawsuit. If it's never checked, then they'll be forced to take down the site or be liable for the damages.

Pulp said...

This just in: Slammer sighted at Siamese Sex Shop (for Septuagenarians)