Sunday, April 8, 2007

Checking In With The Post

It is obvious to any New Yorker that on any given day, you can pick up the New York Post and find something absolutely insane written in it. First up, Andrea Peyser, who blows the lid off the 9/11 conpiracy Anna Nicole Smith's death.

Her Death a Mishap? My Butt!
Andrea Peyser is mad as heck and she's not gonna take it anymore!

IT'S as plain as the fierce infection raging through Anna Nicole Smith's voluptuous backside on the day she died. Her death was no pure "accident."
First, I thank you for bringing up Anna Nicole Smith's looks a mere 13 words into your column. I had no idea her backside was "voluptuous". I've never seen it on the internet.

Only in Florida can a healthy, young woman
Are you serious? She was healthy like I'm black.

drop dead in a hotel room with a nasty bug raging through her bottom from a dirty hypodermic syringe - felled by enough prescription drugs to take down a small continent - and all the state's brain trust sees fit to declare is a single word:

"Oops!"

Ummmmm, I don't know about you, but I can absolutely see Anna Nicole Smith being irresponsible with her drugs. If John Belushi, Chris Farley, Jim Morrison, River Phoenix and Richard Nixon all OD'd and died, why is it impossible for Anna Nicole to?

The Florida authorities - an oxymoron of a phrase if I ever heard one -

I think it's time we stopped denigrating the fine people of Florida. Yes they had that election thing, but there are so many worse places in the South. Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, shit just pick any of them really.

yesterday slammed the book shut on the brief life and sudden death of beauteous Anna Nicole.

The looks thing again. I'm starting to think Andrea Peyser is a hack.

For starters: Anna Nicole was taking a pharmacy's-worth of prescription drugs, methadone and Valium among them. At least one drug, the sedative chloral hydrate - blamed for killing Marilyn Monroe - is known to be potentially fatal when combined with other drugs.

But while Dr. Perper was quick to say none of these drugs were "illegal," he neglected to nod at the elephant haunting Anna's bedroom. Namely, how did Anna Nicole get her doctor - or multiple doctors - to feed her so many drugs at the same time?

Is this woman retarded? Hmmm...how did this rich and famous celebrity get her hands on an arsenal of drugs?

The answer could be contained in the wacky court fight, held right here in Florida. Ex-beau Larry Birkhead testified that many doctors supplied the Playmate with a boatload of drugs, then dispensed to her by her devious companion, Howard K. Stern. In court, Stern tried to refuse to say what kinds of drugs she was taking. Why, Howard?

What makes the guy devious exactly? I obviously missed something during Anna Nicole's life. For awhile, I thought they were talking about the radio host Howard Stern being the father of her baby and all that shit.

As sure as I know that every one of us will end up in the same place as fair Anna,

Did she just say we're all going to hell?

I know this case stinks. And nobody wants to know why.

Meh see, Andrea Peyser is gonna ask the tough questions see. And if you gumshoes can't figure it out, she'll take the law into her own hands.

Thanks to Fire Joe Morgan for the link to Peyser.

3 comments:

Apartment 618 said...

"Fair Anna"... Oh sweet, sweet Anna! What ever wil we do without thine fine, eloquent presence? We pine for thee.

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