Mr. Van Gundy. Jeff. Jeff-dawg. The Jeff-meister.
Just what on earth are you thinking? You're embarrassing yourself! Seriously. I've got all the love in the world for you, even though you did jump ship in 2001. Hey, I don't blame you. It was stupid to trade Ewing, absolutely stupid. He played his entire career here, and the Knicks reward him with a lousy trade and a kick in the ass. How kind.
So there you go, running away when the going gets tough. And that's fine, it really is. We all expected that kind of behavior from a short bald white guy like yourself who likes to hang off Zo's leg. But then you gotta go and throw down a few two-handed reverse jams and toss a helicopter-with-a-flaming-ball dunk into the mix, and all of a sudden nobody knows what to think! Do we respect him? Do we say good riddance?
Well, buddy ol' pal, former assistant-turned-savior-turned-dunker extraordinaire, thanks for making it an easy decision, for me at least. All teams get an equal shot at the number 1 pick in the draft? Good riddance! You're crazy, old man! Don't you know that David Stern is ominpotent? When he deems yall Rocket-folk worthy, you'll get the number one pick. Now run along, and don't go losing the rest of your hair now worrying for nuthin'.