Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Greatest Thing You Will Ever See

Bear with me dear reader if this comes off disjointed, but when I came home from work I finished off a bottle of Manischewitz (yes, the W is pronounced a V). But this is without a doubt hip-hop's greatest moment. Yes, Tony Parker and Tim Duncan are in a rap video.

Many issues are raised with this music video, first among them being, "What the hell is Tony Parker saying?" Well, I put a crack team of French language experts on it, and it apparently Tony is asking us to ignore France's crippling unemployment and poverty riots. You got it Tony!

Second, is it a step up or a step down for alleged former Long Beach resident Fabolous to be on a track with Tony Parker? On the one hand, Tony has an NBA championship ring. On the other hand, this is Tony Parker we're talking about here, plus Fabolous has to make France seem both tough and cool. Also, "closest they ever came to France was french kissin'"? LAAAAAAAAME! And yes Fab, I've been on a glass bottom boat. Not that impressive.

Finally, what the fuck is up with that ending scene in the video where the cop shows up and gives the thumbs up? Tony Parker blows all of his street cred here by not beating that pig to a bloody pulp. I mean, you think Dirk Nowitzki would let some punk ass 5-0 interrupt his streetball game? Fuck no, Dirk would straight up dominate that pig. Shit, even Steve Nash's Canadian ass would blow weed smoke in the cop's face. And Ron-Ron? He woulda showed that cop what Queensbridge was all about. Instead, Tony and the pig exchange weak thumbs up and go their separate ways. Man up Tony! At least flip him the bird. This is why no one cares about the Spurs, they're boring as hell. Tony may as well tell the kids in the beginning of the video to eat their vitamins and drink their milk. Wack ass busta.

Overall, I must say this video is essential viewing for all hip-hop fans. If only to know that you should never buy a Fabolous album ever again.


Ush said...

When you are a rapper, and have been shot by Sebastian Telfair's posse, I don't think you can lower your street cred anymore.

Slammnardo said...

Dude that ending part with the cop was hilarious. I'm not even sure what they were going for with that.